Moctezuma's Revenge

Moctezuma the Second was born into the ruling family of the Aztec 

Empire around 1466, and quickly became a powerful general, leading many conquests that would expand the Aztec Empire across Mexico and beyond. In 1502 

Moctezuma became the second Emporer of his name and was to rule the Aztecs until his death in 1520. 

Maybe the most notable thing about 

Moctezuma's reign was that he was the first Emporer to make contact with Cortés and the invading Spanish. He learned of Cortés' arrival long before actually meeting him, and decided to meet with the Spanish conquistador in peace, bringing him gifts and graciously overlooking the foreigner's ignorance of Aztec customs and resulting bad manners - which throws into question whether the powerful Emporer was really the indecisive, superstitious ruler that the history books describe. Never-the-less, this meeting coincided with war breaking out between the Spanish, the Aztecs, and other Mexican civilizations that were tired of being conquered and opressed by the powerful Aztecs.

No one is sure of the facts surrounding the Emporer's death; some believe that the Spanish used and imprisoned the Emporer and then killed him when he had outlived his usefulness. Another theory is that Moctezuma's own people turned on him in anger after he gave too much power away to the Spanish invaders. 

Either way, the arrival of The first European travellers did not end well for Moctezuma II, who likely died a grisly and undignified death as a result of the foreigners' arrival.

And that is why, in this part of the world, the traveller's diarrhea that afflicts many foreigners is often referred to as "Moctezuma's Revenge."

And - good lord! - did Moctezuma ever get his revenge on the poor Stoltz Family.

The horror. THE HORROR.

I usually get a funny tummy when I travel - it's a pretty normal part of going somewhere new with different food and water, and having your normal routines disrupted. But this was different.

We had given ourselves 10 days in an airbnb to organize a place to live, a school for the girls, a car, and generally learning about our new home. Perhaps in retrospect this was never going to be a realistic amount of time. After a few days, we thought we had a school organized, and we had decided on a house. After the school interview I had so many doubts that we had to start our search for a school all over again. We weren't too worried as we had found a house we liked and the paperwork was underway. 

We found a different school, a tiny Montessori with an idyllic courtyard that was filled with butterflies and hummingbirds. The girls started and we were pretty pleased with all the progress we had made in such a short time. 

Then Moctezuma set his sights on us.

Louis had a rough day and we didn't want to wander too far away from bathroom access. Then it hit me. I spent the night on the bathroom floor, and the next day, after dropping the girls at school and heading home to dive back into bed, we got the call that our rental had fallen through. We were sick as dogs. We had one more night in our airbnb rental and then nowhere to stay afterwards. Hotels weren't an option since we needed a dog-friendly space. 

We were down. We were out.

But what can one do in that situation other than keep putting one foot in front of the other? And try to stay within sprinting-distance of a bathroom at all times?

We found a second holiday house to rent that was available for 10 days. We got better, then relapsed. We nursed Poppy and Maia through when they eventually got whatever it was we had. We tried to do fun things whenever we had a moment when we felt better. And we bought toilet paper. A lot of toilet paper.

We realized that there is a huge difference between being on vacation somewhere and trying to live there. We had so many logistics to work out that it was nothing like being on vacation at all, but more like having a couple of high-stress full time jobs. 

But amazing experiences often require hard work, and fighting your way through a tough time to arrive at the good stuff on the other side. And in the meantime, we were determined to grasp at any and every fun, interesting, beautiful and hilarious experience we came across. We toured a living hacienda and swam in a magical underground cenote. We spent the day beachside in Progresso. We wandered the vast indoor market in Central Merida where the girls were as tall as most of the adult women. And we took every opportunity to laugh, since after all, that is said to be the best medicine.

We are all feeling better now, thank goodness, and can turn our focus back to settling into our new home. 

Moctezuma, my friend, you did your worst, but we survived. And we are staying - but these foreigners promise to be respectful, considerate guests. So please - go seek your revenge elsewhere!

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